My Life Without a Computer
I’m back!! And let me tell you, it’s been wayyyy too long. Several weeks ago my old computer heaved it’s last, painful breath.
He’d been fighting a courageous battle against thousands of porn viruses for several years now, but in the end he was out numbered. I knew the day was quickly approaching, but no one can ever prepare you for that moment…
Tragic. He will be missed…but not really, because now I’ve upgraded to a MacBook Pro and I’ve seen the light. My old computer was the definition of a basic bitch.
Anyway, I’ve survived these past few weeks without a computer and I’ve had to entertain myself the old fashioned way and I thought I’d let all you internet obsessed fiends know exactly how I did it:
In just a few weeks I watched the entire series of:
Shameless (UK Version)
Avatar: The Last Airbender
RuPaul’s Drag Race…for the fourth time…
And lastly, Breaking Bad
That equals out to almost a week! I wasted a week of my life watching Netflix. That takes commitment, folks. And the only thing I’m left with is a strong desire to drop out of school and become a dragged out, drug kingpin. I think it would be a lively career, something I could really wrap my brain around.
I’ve got to give some props to my two favorite daily activities: sleeping and eating.
I figured out that if I slept 6 hours a night, napped for 2-4 hours a day, and spent a cumulative 3 hours a day eating I would only have to occupy my time with other more strenuous activities (like watching Netflix) for approximately 13 hours a day. That’s doable.
But that’s still a lot of free time!! And don’t think I spent it going to class, doing homework, or doing anything that would qualify as productive.
Instead, I spent a whole Friday making this ridiculous wall decoration for my apartment. I’m an idiot, so it really only makes sense to me… To most it reads “Teh Swagest Pl(spade) N Town.” It’s supposed to say “The Swagest Pl-Ace N Town.”
I made a drunken Harlem Shake video with friends that I would post here…but I’m confident no one wants to witness four shirtless men gyrate vigorously on camera for 30 seconds.
I competed in a wing-eating contest consisting of teams of 1-4. I was the only solo competitor…because I have no friends.
I spent a weekend in Vegas. All the crazy pictures I wish I could post were confiscated by Palms security. Those bouncers mean business.
I met a guy. And a girl. And a few stray animals.
And I did it all without a computer! It really made me believe I could do anything. I truly felt empowered, as if my distancing from the Internet was making me feel alive aga—sorry, had to check a Facebook notification. What was I saying?