Petty vandalism disappoints university officers once again

OXFORD—University of Miami police officers were displeased to find another poorly attempted act of vandalism on the side of a residential hall on campus early Monday morning.
A call was sent through to dispatch around 4 in the morning of a man wearing a Patagonia hoodie and Sperry’s walking around the building suspiciously.
According to Miami University officer, Stanley Bailey, the suspect was probably deciding the best place to put his eyesore of a masterpiece.
“This is the third time in two weeks that this has happened,” reported Bailey. “And the culprit is not getting any better. His graffiti is terrible.”
Though the motive is still unclear, sergeant Darfey suggested that it’s more than just petty vandalism.
“Whoever is doing this is doing it with little to no effort on purpose,” said Darfey. “We’re just sick of having to deal with vandalism of such poor quality.”
According to Darfey, vandalism on other campuses, such as Ohio State University or Dayton University, are much more highbrow and worthy of criminal charges.
“This is a joke,” exclaimed Darfey. “What is that even supposed to be? An eight ball? The moon? Whoever did this needs to take some art classes. That should be the punishment here.”
As the investigation continued throughout the morning, many other officers, as well as bypassing Miami students, looked onto the crime scene with confusion as to what the poorly scribbled doodle may mean.
“There’s no depth at all and the line perspective is all over the place,” critiqued Miami student, Sam Toodley after seeing the graffiti.
Speculation as to who has been defacing the walls of Miami resident halls continues but officer Bailey hopes the criminal is caught soon.
“We can’t allow such poorly skilled criminals to practice their artwork on our walls,” explained Bailey. “Miami has an image to uphold. This type of vandalism would be acceptable in Hamilton, but Miami deserves something better.”

An Abstract Poem

Hey guys, this post isn’t like my usual ones. I had to write an abstract poem for an english class I’m in and I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but I think it came out pretty cool.

This blog is a chance for me to express myself (and not just my goofy side, but my creative literary side as well). So be prepared for other creative pieces to show up now and again. 🙂

Enjoy.

 

Evolutionary Stimuli

Traversing toward the emissions

Of which one possesses

Potentiality

Being

Breath

The trajectory toward Death

 

Embryotic fluid suffocating my trepidation

Anticipating my own welcoming

The cellular disposition

Of my future     foretold to me

By the distorted beast who bore me

 

Blurring past vitalized humanity

I am your mated marsupial

A dejection of nature

Left to Live

Thrive      Destroy

The conception of the conceivable

 

I am absorbed into the “Interminable Mess”

Dejected of introspective identity

I am one     two     three

I am You    Me

Everyone

 

In the wet dilation of

Carnal desire

Skin on skin

Creating impending existence

The galactic intervention within the universal commonality

Of simple beingness becomes

Convoluted with Byzantine straightforwardness

And Baroque anguish

I am Art

 

Unappreciated by neutrality

My ambiguous form pumping

With life

Sticky-sweet blood exacerbating my superiority

Telling me

“Everything you are

Everything you will be

Is me

You will become everything I possess within you

Vitality

Vivacity

Virtually     nothing”

 

The irresponsibility of consciousness

Confusing my senses

Blind to cacophonous catastrophe

And deaf to visual stimulation

I wander from my enclosure

Alone

Unprotected from unpredictable Destiny

A leap into Fate

An icy breath confirming Existence

I cry

 

Life resumes and Death begins

A race between two moths

Flirting with the fires of the “Psychic City”

But perhaps I am something new

–Life’s proverbial anomaly—

Set within the confines of normalcy

Yet meant to reconstruct

Redefine

Retell

The immaculate predisposition of

Everything

 

Blots of color

Red    Blue    Yellow

Swirl together intrinsically

Time

Presents a gift to me

—life—

Wasted on a marsupial creation

Made from

X

Y

And      Z